


Lost and Found

by Riki_W_Grayson



Series: Lost and Found Series [1]
Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Circus life, Dick Has Been Through Some Stuff, Dick Has a Sister, Dick and OC Best Friend Dynamic, Eventual Relationship in Later Works, Eventually Follows Time Line, Hate to Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Moody Dick, Mystery, OC Denual is Government Property, PTSD, Set Before Dick Becomes Robin, Very Young Dick Grayson, Will Make Sense in Later Works, nothing graphic, really slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-21 07:09:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19997929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riki_W_Grayson/pseuds/Riki_W_Grayson
Summary: Growing up in the circus should be interesting if not to say fun for most children. However, after a young Dick Grayson goes through a despicable trauma, he realizes - or rather his parents realize - he needs a friend to help him cope. Little do they know that the young Russian orphan they agree to foster, needs a friend just as much as Dick does.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I originally posted this work over a year ago before taking it down to edit it. Since then I've written more chapters and will be posting them regularly. I've added songs that I think go along with the mood of each chapter: one song per chapter. I like music and I thought it would be fun to kind of create a playlist while writing this story. Also, this work will be part of a series, this is just the first part so if you're not into reading this portion of the series keep a lookout for future works. Lastly, there are elements of this story that may be triggers for some people, so I will post warnings here in the before-chapter notes as well as a warning in the text. With that being said, there is an underage, non-con thread in this chapter just so you're aware. Nothing graphic though. Sorry for the long post, but since this was the first chapter I wanted to get everything said right off the bat. Future notes will be shorter. Enjoy :)

Song: Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Bizkit

June 8, 2002: Bucharest, Romania:

It did no good for Dick to stand complaining in the thin summer heat. He was still expected to be a "good young man" - as his mother put it - and behave himself. But he also knew she had purposefully avoided using the words "little" and "boy" to appeal to his better side. 

He stood under the shade of the old, gothic-styled platform as the trains steamed past. Most eight year old boys would be ecstatic to see so many trains in one place, but Dick was used to them. Growing up in the circus he had spent countless hours on the circus train, sometimes days, traveling from city to city. From the platform the black train with bold red letters that read, "Haley's Circus", it's sides plastered with promotional stills of the cast performing, was visible. It sat - temporarily - on a side track until the show's run in Bucharest was over. 

Dick huffed, already wanting to leave Romania. The business his family had at the train station that afternoon had ruined this city for Dick, and had turned his stomach sour. It growled anyway. He knew it was his fault for throwing a fit and skipping lunch, but that didn't stop the fact that he was desperately hungry. Looking around through the mass of rushing bodies he spotted an ice cream cart. 

"Mom, I'm hungry," Dick said, scooting between his mother and father. 

"Well you should have thought of that before you skipped lunch," her eyes were focused on the train off in the distance. 

"Well I'm sorry now." He hated apologizing. "But there's an ice cream cart over there and it's so hot and-".

"Richard, we don't have time."

He hated when his mother called him by his real name. Time before what? They had plenty of time, Dick was sure of it, and he refused to give up so easily. "Don't you have anything to eat?"

"Dick," she glanced over impatiently before grabbing her small backpack and digging around inside. "Here," she pulled out a small, wrapped peppermint, "this is all I have."

He hated being called by his nickname. How was Dick short for Richard? He scoffed, shoving his hands in his pockets and pouting. "I don't want the peppermint, I want ice cream."

Sensing a perfect opportunity, his older sister Malina, peaked around their father's shoulder, "If you don't want it I do," and she snatched the peppermint before Dick had a chance to change his mind.

"Hey, I asked first. Malina. Give. It." Dick attempted to grab it back, but having already unwrapped it, Malina plopped it into her mouth. "Mom, did you see that? She did it just to pick on me. Make her spit it out."

"What? No. Mom that's ridiculous. You're being ridiculous Richard." Malina took special care to roll her eyes in his general direction. Then she opened her mouth, showing him the precious piece of candy resting on her disgusting, saliva-covered tongue.

That was it. He had had enough of his trouble-making older sister. He tried to reach around his father and grab the candy out of her mouth. Seeing this, she closed it just in time. No matter. He would pry it open if he had to. He was determined.

Smoothly and with practice, their father stepped between him and his target, taking him by the shoulders and steering him away from Malina. 

"Let it go son. Act like a grown up," his father said. He didn't stoop to say this to his face. He never did things like that. He only ever took Dick by the shoulders and said, "be a grown up" or "that's not how a grown up would act". And as much as Dick hated being told what to do, he wanted his father to see that he could be a grown up. But still...

"Dad she only did it because she didn't want me to have it. "

"No, Dick," his father’s grip on his shoulders tightened just a smidgen for emphasis. "You wanted to have the candy so that she couldn't. How is that any different? Honestly you guys are giving me grey hairs." 

Dick looked up at his father’s hair. It was black and neatly combed. There was no sign of grey. "You're lying."

His father winked. 

"Dick sighed, gave a glare of finality to his sister, and looked toward the tracks. The train that his mother had been fixated on earlier was much closer now. He could hear the murderous rush of its wheels, thick and sharp enough to cut a body in half. As it got closer he felt the low rumble rising up from the platform below to shake his bones. He realized how close they were to the edge of the platform and when he looked up again, the train was there, looming over him like a dark mountain. With a shriek of cascading steel, the train came to a steaming standstill. 

He gulped down a breath of smoke-filled air. 

"This is so exciting!" His mother was grabbing his hand, squeezing it hard, almost too hard. Before he had time to process all the smoke, he was tugged along the platform toward a growing hoard of bodies. People pooled out of the train, creating an ominous crowd in front of them. A luggage cart rolled by, too close for comfort. Someone was saying something over the loudspeaker in Romanian. Breathing hard, he let go of his mother's hand. He looked around but there was no place for him to step but forwards. Taking a deep, steadying breath, he followed his mother into the crowd. 

Catching back up to his family he looked at Malina, who seemed almost as excited as their mother. His father was casting anxious glances back and forth between the picture he was holding and the crowd in front of them. Dick walked faster, trying to sneak a peak at the picture his father had in his hand. It was the picture Malina and him hadn't been allowed to see on the grounds that it was to be a "surprise". Dick absolutely hated surprises. They made him anxious.

He was so close... Just a couple more inches and he would finally be able to see what his parents had been obsessing over for the past eight months. Like hitting a brick wall, Dick ran smack into his father's back as the tall man came to a halt. 

Stumbling a bit his father turned around. "Careful Dick. Are you okay?" And then he stepped aside, pushing Dick into the space that he had been occupying. Dick thought he saw a wisp of white hair. Then some engineer somewhere poured water over the boiler of a train, covering the crowd in a fog-like mist that briefly obscured the world. 

Before he could again make out the white wisp of hair, the lady with the glasses caught his attention. Directly in front of him stood a short woman. Even Malina, who was twelve and a growth-stunted acrobat, was barely shorter than her. Her long black hair paired perfectly with her mat-black lipstick. The deep purple power suit she wore gave her an air of command. Altogether, Dick found her to be completely intimidating. 

"Are you the Grayson family?" She looked to his father, who nodded.

"Yes, I'm John and this is my wife Mary. Thank you so much for bringing Denual all this way. We really appreciate it." He reached out and shook her hand. A bit taken aback but not caught off guard, she gave his hand a return shake. 

"This is Denual." She pushed a young boy, no more than a year older than Dick toward the center of their little group. The boy stared at the ground, a tussle of platinum blond hair obscuring his vision. No, not blond. It was white. Dick noticed this first of all, then examined the boy more closely. Despite being well dressed, his button up shirt looked to big for him, and the belt that he wore didn't have enough notches for his slender frame. He carried with him a single brown suitcase that looked like it had been fished out of the Mediterranean and then sold half-price in a back-woods thrift store. 

But Denual surprised them all by looking up, right into Dick's mother's face. And then he smiled. A big, dopey-eyed grin. "Thank you for being my foster family."

Dick also stared up at his mother. This boy wasn't part of their family, there wasn't room for anyone else. No room unless they were trying to replace him. What did foster even mean anyway? The words were too grown up. 

Denual reached his hand out to Mary Grayson, who after a moment's hesitation, shook it. "Hi Denual, you can call me Mary."

Then his sister, "I'm Malina." Dick couldn't believe that his sister was so okay with this. How could she agree to invite someone else into their family so suddenly?

He found himself awkwardly shaking Denual's hand, not used to so much formality. In his confusion, Dick forgot to tell the boy his name. 

His father followed suit, grinning from ear to ear, just like the boy, "Hi kiddo. You can call me John. Oh, and," he placed his hand on Dick's shoulder, "this is Dick. Don't mind him, he's just a bit shy. Looks like you two are about the same age so you should get along great." Dick managed a weak grin, which paled in comparison to the ear to ear grin Denual was giving him in exchange. 

"Well, you've already signed the necessary paperwork and sent it in so... I just need a quick word with you two before I leave.” The woman pulled John and Mary to the side, gathering them close about her. Dick strained to hear what she said. 

"As you're aware, this is not a normal foster situation. This boy is the property of the Russian government, and should the government find him, they will make him disappear. It's for your safety as much as for the boy’s that we chose your family, as you're always on the move. Besides that, Denual doesn't have any family, so watch out for anyone claiming to be-". A train whistle blew, and the _chug-a-chug_ sound of the train leaving the station drowned out the woman's voice.

After awhile, they stopped talking and the woman stooped to look at Denual. He looked back at her with large brown eyes. "Thank you for the hot chocolate, and the books, and for taking me shopping, and for letting me stay up and play video games, and for taking me to dance class, and for... for everything." All of this came out in a rush, and a few of the words didn't make it out before he threw his arms around the woman in a tight hug. 

The woman embraced him, patting him on the back gently. When he let go she stood up, still looking straight into Denual's eyes and said, "No one can hurt you if you don't let them." For the first time, Denual looked uneasy as he squirmed a bit, but he managed to not look away. 

"Okay," he whispered.

Then the woman turned to Mr. and Mrs. Grayson. "Take care of him. Keep him off those posters," she nodded to the side of the circus train, "off of the internet, and out of the papers and magazines and you should be fine." She smiled at Denual giving him a final squeeze before leaving, sending a parting wave towards Dick's family as she boarded the train once again. 

**~Warning~**

Dick was the only one who did not wave back. Well that was stupid. Of course people could hurt you. People would always hurt you if given the opportunity, especially if you were too young to fight back, and there was nothing anyone could do about it - not even grown-ups that we’re supposed to protect you. Like his parents, who hadn’t protected him. Dick knew this all too well. These thoughts left him staring off into space, momentarily unresponsive to his surroundings.

John was the first to move, stepping forward to help the fumbling boy with this suitcase. "Here Denual. I'll get that for you." Bending, he grabbed the case by the worn, stained handle and ushered the family along. "Well, the shuttles are this way if I remember correctly." He lead them further into the heart of the train station. "I could be wrong though, my Romanian's a bit rusty. How 'bout you Denual? Do you speak any Romanian?"

Denual walked quickly, trying to keep up with the taller man's strides. "Sorry, I only speak a little Russian." Denual's voice was far too chipper for Dick's liking, and it definitely didn't sound Russian.

He had to be a liar. Dick was sure of it. He had friends that were Russian, people in the cast. He knew what Russians sounded like, and it wasn't anything like that. 

His mom had told him not to trust liars. Yes, "People who lie only want attention," his mother had once said. Well then, if Denual wanted attention, then Dick wasn't going to give him any. Plus, the last people that had lied to him and that he had given attention to...

**~Warning~**

He still remembered it. All of it. _The offered candy, the two big men, the awful smell of that trunk, hands so big that it only took one of them to smother his face, and the cold floor of the dark room where he waited for hours for someone to come and save him._

No. Dick would not trust Denual at all. His mind was made up. As soon as they got to the hotel he was going to tell his mother all about how Denual was a liar. Then they'd have to send him right back to where he came from, along with his messy hair, baggy clothes, chipper voice, and fake accent. 

**~End~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I can't believe how fast the week went by. Time for another chapter. I apologize in advance, this chapter might be a little choppy. I've been in four states in the past week and I didn't have a quiet place to sit down and concentrate on this. 
> 
> There is mention of child abuse and assault in this chapter. Like I said before, it's nothing graphic, but I wanted to post a warning anyway. I will also post a warning before that part of the story for those that don't read the notes.

Song: Never Say Never: By the Fray

June 8, 2002: Bucharest, Romania:  
As was tradition, Dick and his family went to dinner. Someplace fancy for their first night in a new city. Normally they would have gone with the rest of the cast, but it was a special day, and they opted for family only. Dick would rather have eaten with the cast. It contained so many people, crew included, that it was easy to blend into the crowd and go unnoticed. Having to react and respond to the people around him rather than melting into the background was hard enough. After the train station, and the memories that woman had stirred up, Dick was on edge; and, barely hanging on to his sanity. Yet it wasn't entirely terrible. 

By the looks of it, the restaurant was one of the nicer eating establishments the city had to offer. Located just off one of the main streets that ran through downtown Bucharest, it was obvious that it was usually frequented by wealthy tourists and locals seeking the latest urban cuisine. Upon first arriving, Dick had been skeptical that he would enjoy anything on the foreign menu. After all, being an eight-year old boy did not present him with an expansive palate. When it came to food, he preferred the simpler, more familiar options like spaghetti, fries, or chicken tenders. As he had pouted, a waiter rushed by with a plate of something that smelled delicious. Dick's mouth had watered instantly as he'd remembered how hungry he was.

They had been shown to a table towards the rear of the dining room, and seated across from a large, glass patio door. The tables were round, save for the booths along the wall and the stools at the bar. Each table had eight chairs, but Dick's party had five people. Excited to be alone, Dick had tried to sit by himself, with an empty chair on either side of him. His family had had other ideas. 

Mary, his mother, had sat between him and Malina, who had been shooting Dick murderous glares for seemingly no reason the entire shuttle ride over. John, Dick's father, had set beside Denual, who had been - unfortunately for him - seated next to Dick. Denual had taken no notice of Dick's standoffishness and had continued talking nonstop to the family, Dick included, just like he had been doing ever since the train station. 

Of course Dick's family did little to appease the situation by asking Denual question after question. Honestly, Dick didn't understand what there was worth asking. Denual was a lying intruder who was stealing the hearts of Dick's family. It was clear now that his own parents had written him off as damaged, and were replacing him with a normal, unbroken boy. Dick felt entirely abandoned. He sat there silently watching his family bombard Denual with personal inquiries: what was his favorite color, did he celebrate any holidays, had he ever been to Romania before? Dick didn't really listen to the answers Denual was giving. They were probably all lies anyway, and there was still not a hint of a Russian accent. Not that he was listening, of course.

When it was his turn to order, Dick looked to his father. They usually ordered the same meal as a father-son tradition, and to Dick's surprise, tonight was no exception. John ordered Mici, a type of rolled meat with bread and spices. Although his father also ordered the same for Denual, Dick's spirits were lifted a little at the small act of familiarity. After waiting for what seemed like hours but was most likely only half an hour, the food arrived. Dick forgot about talking as he ate, too distracted t say anything. He listened instead. 

Mary and Malina were engaged in converstation about how to correctly pluck one's eyebrows. Malina was just getting to the age where plucking of the eyebrows was expected. Whatever that meant. John and Denual were completely absorbed in the topic of motorcylces, Dick having missed how they had gotten onto the subject. Without warning, and despite sitting at the same table, he once again felt like an outsider amongst his own family. Of course the logiacl thing to do would be to join one of the conversations, but after the long and unxpected events of the day, there was little logic left in Dick's young mind. He didn't understand anything about plucking eyebrows, and he'd already made up his mind not to talk to Denual. Unable to communicate and unsure of how to process his own feelings, he felt something strange boiling up inside him. 

When everyone had finsihed their meals, Dick breathed a sigh of releif. All he wanted to do was leave, so he could be alone in his own hotel room where it was quiet and there were no people. Maybe he could even stay up late and watch TV. Then the unthinkable happened. 

They ordered dessert. That was something reserved for very special occassions, like birthdays or holidays. Dick hardly considered Denual to be any sort of special occassion. The other boy had been more like a catostrophic event.

Neverhteless, all of that was forgotten when dessert actually came. Dick discovered that Amandine, a thick and rich chocolate cake, was his new favotite food. At this point, he was actually beginning to enjoy himself, momentarily forgetting his hatred for Denual as only an eight-year old could. To a child, sugar had the power to brighten any situation. Contented at last, he could have made it back to the hotel without a public freakout. If only Denual didn't sneeze. In the process of trying to cover his mouth, he knocked over his water glass, which in turn, spilled all over Dick's lap. 

Dick jumped up quicker than a shot out of a gun. "Hey!" His face flushed visibly. "Now it looks like I peed myself." Of course he had chosen to wear khaki shorts that day. 

"Dick, calm down," his father looked at him sternly. "It was an accident. Denual didn't mean to do that and you know it."

Those still seated at the table were frantically trying to clean up the mess with their cloth napkins. "Excuse me?" His mother moved to flag down a passing waiter. When there was no response, she tried again in broken Romanian. "Help please, napkins." She gestured at the liquid dripping off the table. 

"I'm sorry Dick. I didn't mean to spill water on you. Sorry," Denual said. The other boy sat on the edge of his chair, visibly searching for a way to erase what he had just done. His eyes were large, full of unshed tears, and his face was the color of the crimson tablecloth. 

It was like someone had just flipped a switch. Every single one of Dick's senses were on overload. There was an insane amount of noise: dishes clanking, the incessant rumble of conversation, traffic passing on the street outside, and Denual kept saying "sorry". Now people were staring too. They were staring because it looked like he had peed his pants.

"Shut up!" The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He didn't want to stop them. Instead, he allowed them to slip past his lips like it was someone else saying them. "Shut up!" he repeated. "I don't care if you're sorry. I hate you!" He screamed those words. His voice sounding far away to his own ears, like he was underwater. At the same time, he felt them rip from his vocal chords, deafening.

At last, the room was silent. 

"Richard John Grayson!" His mother broke the silence, rising from her seat. "That was incredibly rude. You apologize to Denual right now young man." 

If they weren't before, everyone in the restaurant was certainly looking at him now. Even the waiter that had stopped to help them. Staring at him because he had screamed. Staring at him because it looked like he had peed his pants. Staring at him because they knew what had happened to him, like it was written on his forehead. 

Denual was audibly sobbbing now. 

Dick moved like lightening, on the move before anyone could grab him. He wasn't about to let anyone lay their hands on him. He had to get out. Fight or flight, Dick chose flight. The eyes of his parents, the customers, the staff that he was sure wanted to kick him out by now. Their stares physically stung him. He was certain they all wanted to put their hands on him, to hit him until he was black and blue - until he behaved. 

All of these thoughts gave Dick tunnel vision. He darted around the room full of people, who really had paused their meals to regard him with curious agitation and booked-it over to the massive patio doors. He was through them faster than a horse out of a gate. And then he was on his own. The words he'd said echoed in his mind, drowning out all other sound. Had he really meant them? He had no idea, but the echo grew stronger, until it matched the rhythm of his heart.

It was dark now, and his unfamiliar surroundings spooked him further. Strangers walked towards him from every direction. There were so many passing lights, so many new sights. Someone called his name. His father. Dick bolted again. People jumped out of his way, stumbling in confusion, as he dodged through them on his flight down the sidewalk. A cyclist swerved to miss him, and he almost tripped over a woman walking her dog. There was so much. So many buildings, so many cars, so many people, and no where to go. 

So much. He felt lost. 

There had to be somewhere, anywhere, that no one would find him. He wouldn't let them catch him. Not again. 

On instinct he turned down the first alleyway he came to. It was dark, but unlike most children, darkness had never bothered him. It made him feel safe, hidden away from the world, but able to watch it at the same time. He went as far as he could, until he all but slammed against the dead-end wall. In a daze, he spotted a pile of boxes, and crawled behind them. The lights and people were gone, but he could still hear the noises of the city. It sounded like someone was still calling his name. 

Dick pressed his shaking hands to his ears, trying to drown out the sound, and felt something wet on his cheeks. He looked towards the sky, but it wasn't raining. Confuse, he looked down at his hands, where more delicate droplets splashed against his pale skin. Not water, he was crying. Why did he always have to cry? He hated himself for it, boys didn't cry. his father never cried. Frustrated, he tried to blink away the tears, but everytime he batted his lashed together, more tears fell, until there was a steady stream of them falling down his pudgy, little boy face. 

His hands began to shake harder, until he couldn't keep them still. Gradually, it spread to his whole body. What was happening to him? It no longer seemed possible to breathe. Each time he tried he did nothing but wheeze pitifully, long and hard, struggling to get any air in at all. Terrified, he leaned against the very dirty and very damp wall, and stared into nothingness. 

~Warning~

He was back there again, staring at the light creeping through the crack under the door. Shakes wracked his body. Was it because he was cold, or because he was naked? Tears pooled on the floor beneath his face. He wished the men he could hear talking from the other side of the door would be quiet. They sounded nothing like his father. They terrified him. Those voices had scarred him. Dick hid himself in the darkness, numbly staring into nothingness.

~End Warning~

Suddenly the boxes in front of him began to move. Dick recoiled in surprise, releasing a startled yelp. He tried to scoot sideways, farther into his hiding spot, as the figure loomed over him. It was hard to make out any of its features in the non-existent light. 

The men from before. 

The men that had hurt him. They had come back to finish what they started. Though, it would be different this time. they'd do what they promised. First, they'd kill his family, then hurt him again, and lastly, they'd sell him. 

"Dick' you're alright," it was his father's voice. Even through his blind panic he'd recognize that voice anywhere. It would always bring him back. Dick relaxed involuntarily. But he also remembered what he had just done. He wheezed even harder, fresh waves of fear washing over him. The logical part of his eight-year-old mind reminded him that he shouldn't have to be this afraid of his father. He loved his father. Yet those feelings were lost in the chaos. 

"Woah, it's okay. It's me, dad. It's okay. You're okay." John scooted closer to his son. "Come here Dick." John wasn't stern. he simply extended his hand toward him. "Come here."

Dick wanted to move but he couldn't.

"Can I put my hand on your shoulder? Is that okay?" John asked, squeezing all the way into the small space. Dick remained still, save for the shaking, unsure of what he wanted. He felt his father's hand, warm against his shoulder, and he realized how cold it had gotten now that the sun had gone down. "Can I hug you?".

This time Dick nodded. 

John slowly enveloped Dick in a tight embrace. Dick was still afraid that he'd be punished for what he had done. He knew he deserved punishment. What he had said to Denual had been wrong. It had all come out so wrong. Dick just didn't want to be replaced. But his father held him tighter as he cried, and Dick felt the fear leaving him. His breathing slowed, as did his heart rate, matching the steady rhythm of his father's.

Maybe his parent sweren't going to replace him after all. 

Even if they were, there in the shelter of the alley, Dick felt safe. Although it was dark and cold, there was a familiar being to share the shadows with. Unlike before, the man holding him was one he loved. Dick knew his father would never do anything to hurt him - that he would never raise his hand to beat him or put him down just for pleasure. His father was kind, and as long as someone was kind to him, nothing else really mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again if you've made it this far, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed reading it more than I enjoyed writing it. For some reason writing the beginning chapters of a work is really difficult for me. 
> 
> I'll be in my current location for a few weeks before I move cities again so expect multiple updates over the next week. Although, I've always been overly ambitious so don't take that last statement too seriously. I will at least post one new chapter over the next week though so be expecting that. 
> 
> I know this chapter was kind of dark but things will eventually get better, so you guys have that to look forward to. 
> 
> Alright, that about covers it. Have a great weekend everyone! Bye!!!

**Author's Note:**

> If you've made it to the end, thank you so much for reading. Please let me know what you think in the comment section. If you want a specific song to be paired into the story please let me know. Alternatively, please let me know if you think posting songs with chapters is weird and I'll stop. The next chapter will be posted a week from tomorrow at the latest. Thank you, bye!!! :)


End file.
